thegestianpoet:

i just went for a run in my neighborhood

as i have done most nights for the past week or two

and tonight i ran past a woman walking her dog and i thought the dog was pooping 

AND FOR SOME INSANELY STUPID REASON I DECIDED TO TELL HER “IT’S OK” THAT HER DOG WAS POOPING AS I RAN BY

only I had just done hills and was really out of breath 

so I’M PRETTY SURE it came out as 

“IT’S OK IF YOU POOP”

LIKE THIS

I TOLD A WOMAN IT WAS OK FOR HER TO POOP AND THEN RAN AWAY FROM HER

HOW DO I REMAIN IN THIS UNIVERSE